CRAY VALLEY MEADOWS

KENT

JULY 20 2008

ALL TOO EASY!

Let's be clear on a few matters of great importance,  shall we.

I jump,  headlong,  bold and fearless into the icy cold river water,  teaming with fishes and patchworks of reedy clumps,  not to follow your orders and fetch the benign piece of broken twiglet you plucked from the field nearby.

I dart to and forth,  covered from head to foot in murky weed ridden river water,   not to make you roar with laughter and attract the attention of others like you who pass by and take photographs of my furry exploits.

I bring back the aforementioned stumpy branchlet,  placing it lovingly at your feet and arching my back as a sign that I  am ready to repeat my sterling performance whenever you  are ready,  not to show my affection and alleagance to you,  my dear feeder.

I do it because I have oodles of nervous energy just crying to be burnt off,  and I'm trying to keep myself toned and Adonis-like because the saucy little minx of a poodle,  Fifi Trixibelle,  at number 35 keeps sashaying her perfectly formed  touche in my general direction every time she takes her feeder for a walk past our front gate.  And,  I do it because it makes you smile,  and keeps you happy.

I do it because,  when you smile,  and you are happy,  I know that you'll reach into your bag and pull out some doggy treats,     Because you are so easy to control and manipulate.  I fetch the stick,  you give me treats.  How can I lose?  Like taking candy from a puppy!

And tonight,  I'll  ensure that I whiff of 'wet doggy',  and rub my strategically mud covered body all over the new lounge fabric so that you give me a delicious and aromatic bubble bath and brush up,   ready for my rendezvous tomorrow with that little poodle minx!

You're all such putty in my paws!